Parents who split up will still have to raise their children, which requires communication. Some parents who don’t want to speak with each other may be tempted to start passing messages through the children, but that’s never a good idea.
There are specific risks that come with using the children as messengers. Understanding these may help you to understand why this isn’t ever something that you should do.
Children may not relay messages properly
There’s a good chance that children won’t relay the message in the correct manner. Misconstrued messages can lead to misunderstandings between the parents. This could lead to an increase in disagreements.
Children may feel like they have to choose sides
Children may feel like they have to choose between one parent and the other, particularly if they’re put in the middle of a disagreement. This isn’t a good position for any child because they should always feel free to love both parents without having to try to choose sides.
Children may be exposed to unnecessary negative emotions
Children who are asked to relay messages may experience negative emotions when they give the message. That can lead to considerable stress for them at a time when they’re already feeling some stress because of their parents splitting up.
The parenting plan should include terms about how the parents will communicate. This should include the methods, times and any restrictions that are present. Having a comprehensive parenting plan can benefit your children by providing clear expectations for both parents. Working with someone familiar with similar matters may be beneficial.
