Children who have divorced parents can often feel like they are being pulled in two different directions. Parents can prevent this from happening by working together to rear the children even though they are no longer married to one another. Finding ways to share the responsibilities can help with this aspect of life after divorce.
When you are trying to figure out how to make things work, you need to look at the full picture. Keeping your child at the center of the case is one of the best things that you can do because it will keep your focus on what’s important. Here are some points to consider:
What is your parenting style?
There are many different types of parenting styles that you and your ex may employ. The important takeaway is that you choose the one that works for your situation. Some parents choose to co-parent, which is a very close parenting relationship. Others choose parallel parenting, which involves less teamwork by the parents. Another option is bird’s nest parenting where the child lives in one home and the parents each spend time with the child in that home. Sometimes, a hybrid arrangement works best.
Who will make decisions?
The decision-making powers are important in these cases. You need a clear outline of which parent is going to make decisions about different aspects of the child’s life. Which decisions will be made jointly? Some of the more common areas include health care, education and religion or faith.
How will shared events be handled?
You and your ex might both attend some shared events with the children. These might include school plays, graduations and other milestones. Setting the standards now for how toe handle these times can help you prepare. One thing to consider here is how the non-custodial parent will be notified of upcoming events.
What ground rules are important?
All parenting relationships need to have some basic ground rules. One of the most important that you need to include is that there must be respect. Speaking ill of each other can’t happen. Discuss how communication will be handled. You have to ensure that you aren’t using your children as messengers. Instead, you and your ex need to find ways to communicate directly with each other so that there won’t be miscommunications.
