Learning that your parents are going through a divorce is stressful for children. Part of the reason for this is the upheaval of everything they’ve grown accustomed to. Another part is that they don’t have any say or control. If you are planning on divorcing or think that your marriage is ending, you need to think about what you need for your children.

Planning for your children is a bit different than what you will have to do for other matters.

Decide where you will live

There are two options here. Either you are going to stay in the marital home or you are going to move to a new place. If you are going to be the person who moves out, make sure that you have a dedicated space for your children in your new home. You want them to feel like your home is their home now. Even if you are moving into an apartment, giving them a set of drawers in which to put their clothing might be sufficient for now.

Be honest with them

You should be honest with the children, but keep the discussions at an age appropriate level. You don’t have to give them all the details about the divorce and the reasons for it. Instead, be willing to discuss how life for the child will change now that you are getting a divorce. There might be some points that you aren’t sure about so don’t guess what will happen and don’t make promises that you can’t keep. Talk to your ex about things that seem to be bothering the children so they can be addressed in a suitable manner.

Keep yourself healthy

Divorce is a stressful time for everyone, including you. Try to remain calm and in control. Make sure you eat a nutritious diet and exercise so that you can stay as healthy as possible. By taking care of yourself, you’re giving your children a good example to follow and you’re giving yourself a chance to really enjoy your children.

As you work through the custody matters with your ex, there are bound to be some challenging situations that come up. Remain respectful and don’t say negative things about your ex in front of your children. Keeping your children’s best interests at the center of the case may make this process easier.